This entire website is dedicated to you, my darling daughters. In order to protect your privacy, I will only refer to you with your initials H & A. When I post pictures, I will do my best to obscure the faces so only you and I can know who is in the picture.
Since your mother has blocked my contacts on your devices (I know how persuasive she can be and I know you are forced to follow what she says to not contact me), I thought about putting this blog up and hope that one day you will read it & know how I really feel about you. At least no one can block that. I have never been a writer or knew how to operate a blog, but I love you so much that I'll do anything to show you how I really feel.
I have been trying to reach each of you over your phone and iPad, but I wasn’t successful. The last time we had a conversation was on September 20th, 2018, where I talked with both of you. After that I wasn’t able to reach either of you except once on September 21, 2018 when H’s friend’s mom answered H’s phone by mistake and H talked to me briefly saying she will call me when she gets home if she has time. Needless to say she didn’t, and that was the last time I heard from either of you.
Since the night I dropped you off at your mom's house, on September 11, 2018, I have been calling both your devices everyday between 7 - 8 pm your time in Cairo to talk with you, but every time I call, I get this:
H: your device rings and there's no answer. A: your iPad gives me this message which means - since you don't have an actual number and I am calling an Apple ID email - your Apple ID has changed...again. Of course, I've also sent numerous messages that don't get delivered.
I know this is not your fault. I know you feel forced to go along with this to make your mom happy. I am not upset with you. I feel sorry for you and sad that despite my best efforts to not reach this deadlock, this was your mom's decision.
I promise I will do my best to avoid talking about S's unfortunate choice in the coming posts, but I feel like I have to recap where we are at the beginning of this blog.
Why am I doing this?
I am doing this because I want you to know the truth: I love you. Despite what your mom is telling you, I didn't leave you, and I want to be in your lives. Since there is no way for me to reach you to have a private conversation, this is my best option. I am open to suggestions though!
Each post will be dedicated to you, sometimes remembering happy memories with you, sometimes wondering what you're doing and asking you questions, overall telling you about what I wish we could talk about. Like, take a look at this picture!
Do you remember making this neighborhood of sandcastles? You both would make excellent architects! This is from our time together at the beach house in Alexandria :-) I took this photo to remind me of how great it felt to do something with both of you! I was genuinely happy when I took it! I remember your smiles and laughter while building it... you were so clever creating a tunnel to divert the water from destroying everything!! I don't remember who's idea was that! was it H? or was it A? I think it was both your idea, and you have built it together!
H & A: I love you and I miss you more than anything!
If you want to get in touch but S won't let you use your phone, you can email me. My email address is my dad's first name then a dot then my first name at gmail.com. Call or email me any time you can. I'll be waiting as long as it takes.