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6 months

My dearest girls,

I try everyday, usually multiple times throughout every day, to encourage our joyful memories be stronger than my anger. I focus on the sound of your laughter and funny things you guys have said. I admit there have been numerous times where I cannot do that, where an overpowering grief drowns out your laughter. I've lost so much time with you both. I am doing my very best to not say anything disrespectful about your mom on this blog. It is my job to be a good example for you. But, I feel furious that we have lost all this time together. This is not okay!

...But, I fight to be okay... Let me try again ...

Can you believe it's been 6 months since we've heard each others' voices? It's been 6 months since hearing about your day, your friends, your teachers, your homework. It's been 6 months since you told me about characters you've drawn, BTS, your dream to go to Japan. It's been 6 months since you've sent me voice messages throughout the day, you've sung to me, you've sent me emoji faces and pictures. It's been 6 months since you've kicked my butt playing Clash Royale. It's been 6 months since we've laughed together. It's been 6 months since your mom allowed you to talk with your grandparents, aunt and uncles. H, and A, it's been 6 months since you could hear me tell you how much I love you.

I wish you could hear me now: I love you. I've asked friends for some help thinking of ways and getting creative to reach you. We aren't going to stop. I'm still doing my absolute best everyday because you're both the most important to me.

Always yours,


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